Grandma lives in heaven

Emory has become very interested in grandma's lately. This topic breaks my heart into a million pieces and I want to cry until my tear ducts are dry.
Warning: This post may jump around...sorry the topic makes me emotional and my mind race.

For those that aren't familiar with our story, my mother died in 2005 and Jason's grandmother who raised him as one of her own and he knew as mom passed away 9 days after my mom did. We were both 16. Therefore Emory does not have a grandma. I don't have any living grandparent's and neither does Jason that we know of.

Today she asked me "Can we go see my ganmra?" I fought back tears and said "no, baby we can't." I don't know what to say to her. I have told her that grandma lives in Heaven and she doesn't understand that. How can I make an almost 3 year old understand that concept? We have a picture of my mom on a shelf in our bedroom and this is what sparked the interest in grandma, she wanted to know who the person in the picture was. I want her to know how great my mother was.
This is a picture of the picture we have in our room.

 I want more than anything for her to experience how awesome she was. My mom was the best grandma that anybody could ever have and Emory will never get that. She doesn't have anyone to call grandma and I don't want anyone to have her call them grandma unless biologically they are her grandmother. I didn't have a great relationship with my grandparents and I wanted my children to be super close with theirs. I watched my mom with my nieces and nephews for most of my life and the woman was amazing. I'm envious of people who still have their mothers and that their kids have grandmothers. I try not to be but I am. Jason may feel the same but we don't talk about it much. I don't like talking about missing my mom for some reason.

She does have fabulous aunts and uncles and I am thankful for them everyday.

I thought this mommy gig would be okay without my mom but sometimes I just want to call her and vent and have her tell me that tomorrow is a new day and everything will be okay. I want her advice. I want her here to help me raise my children. Flat out I wasn't done with her and she was taken away way too soon.

Honestly, I haven't been to the cemetary to see her since September 2007. It's still hard for me to even drive by and I may have mentioned this all before. When Emory asked me to go see her I saw the wall she's in and her name on it and taking Em there to visit her. Emory won't understand that. She'll be expecting a person and I can't provide that for her.

Does this get easier? Does anybody have any advice on how I get through this?  or How I explain this to my darling 3 year old?