Answers

On the 16th we went for Emory's evaluation with the child psychologist and we got an answer...sort of.

After going over family medical history (he was shocked that there were spectrum disorders on both sides of the family) and why I thought she may have a spectrum disorder he did a few activities with Emory to see how she would react. He blew bubbles first and waited to see the reaction, she loved them and wanted more but wouldn't point or express that she did. When he'd blow more she'd gasp a little and turn around to see how I was reacting which I wasn't so I didn't influence how she'd act. He then got out a toy puppy, the kind that make the yip, yip, yip and then flips backwards. She watched it for a minute and then he turned it off. She went and picked it up and held the puppy. She walked over to me and stood at my legs hugging the toy. I believe she set it down after a few minutes and he put it away. She was MAD! He then got down one of these 

To distract her and it didn't work, she yelled no and cried a little because she wanted the doggy back.

 We then played with a balloon and it was mostly the doctor and myself batting at the balloon, she'd go pick it up and bring it back to me to do it again. Then he offered her an m&m she wouldn't express she wanted another one. She cautiously waited on the other side of the table until he set one down and she darted over to grab it.

 I thought he'd do a bit more like we did at her first evaluation but apparently he saw what he needed from her to be able to give us a diagnosis.

He told me that I was explaining a kid that had a spectrum disorder and he saw a little bit of it. One of the cabinet doors was open in the room during the evaluation and when Emory walked over to get the balloon she shut it. He pulled out a chair from the table and she immediately pushed it back in. She didn't initiate social interactions with him, she waited until he did and then it was very one sided from him not her. He told me that she is behind in speech. I thought saying 30 words was average for a 21 month old but I guess I was wrong, she should be saying 50+.

He had his diagnosis and said at this point she has one of two things Asperger's syndrome or PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified) Both are on the Autism Spectrum. FINALLY! I felt a wave a relief go through me knowing that we could finally get Em the help she needs.

Why didn't we get a set in stone diagnosis? He said we have to watch her speech and see when that develops and how she is doing sensory wise. He was leaning alot on her having Aspergers because she doesn't seem to want to touch many things and she hates the way certain things feel on her skin and from what he said asperger's kids are this way and PDD kids are overly sensitive to things, they love to pet soft things obsessively is an example he gave. She is also talking, it may be delayed but she is talking.

Our journey has started and I know we have a very long road ahead of us but I'm ready to take it on.

For anyone that feels sorry for us, don't. I don't want to hear I'm so sorry, that's too bad, any of that. You have nothing to be sorry for. Emory is not broken, she is not sick, she does not have a disease. She has a different way of doing things and she will adapt, we will adapt. We will work together. Accept her for who she is, not who she isn't.  We have a lot to learn from her and I am greatful everyday that she is my daughter.